It is spring break, and I am blessed to get to spend at least a chunk of it harvesting pecans! Hooray! (Truly no sarcasm there.) I am realizing that perhaps one reason this seems such a right thing to do during Lent is that I spend most of the time on my knees. And I know that most people say they can't do that because of back issues or knee issues, but I think the part of us that extended time in this position most hurts is our pride. It is definitely a worker's position and one of submission. While I feel a bit achey in back and legs in the evenings, the only spot of my body that really hurts is my left wrist. This is actually quite telling. I constantly lean on my left arm in order to reach with my right hand to grab that "one more pecan" that is slightly out of reach. Regardless of the fact that I will in moments move my little boogie board forward (where they would easily be in reach), I cannot seem to stop the urge to lean and reach--just a few more.
I am reading one of Nouwen's books called "Reaching Out." The firs third is about solitude. There's something to make you say Hmmmm. ( I have sadly just revealed to a handful of you just what a big fan I was of a certain late night talk show when I was in college.) Now, I find myself surrounded by things that make me say Hmmmm. I don't think the world is more full of Hmmm-worthy stuff. I think I am more capable of Hmmmming.
I recall very clearly during those college years a single line spoken by the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News. (Can't tell you anything else about that movie at all.) She has just made a rather strong suggestion about how to fix a problem and someone looks at her and says, "It must be nice to know better than everyone else in the world." She says, completely serious, "No, it's awful." I totally identified with that line for years.
One of the joys of getting older is knowing that you know very very little, and not being worried about that. Knowing everything is not my job. And on the days when it feels like it is, I have to admit that I'm sure it is not a task God assigned me. Which begs the questions, Who did assign me that task, and why am I taking assignments from them anyway?
Long enough inside though--back to my knees with the trees.