Thursday, March 4, 2010

sick enough to stay silent

Some of our friends have labeled 2010 the year of sick. I think that fits our household too--we've already had swine flu, several bouts of stomach flu, several rounds of severe colds, asthma, and various injuries. Bri and I are making it to our weekly homeschool co-op about once every three weeks. Not cool.
And yet . . . so excited that our house church is adding a weekly evening of prayer and praise for Lent. I am so in need of just being in the midst of worship.

Em (18 months) is trying to tolerate my staying in bed more and thus leaving her in her crib longer. This morning, she began with a few whines and the sign for out. She gave up, sat down and looked at a book for a while, then stood again and clearly said, "I want out. Wake up." I said, "Look, you have a bagel and milk and books in your crib. You're fine. I have to rest more." A few more quiet minutes. Then she stood up,made eye contact, and said, "I wanna hug." Amazingly, I resisted, partly fatigue and partly that I don't want to train her to use her adorableness to manipulate. She settled in complainingly for a few more minutes before standing again and saying, "I poopy diapey." And I'm up.

With my incredibly short attention span this lent, most of what I really believe I want to read has gone unread. But I am loving the daily lent posts by Cheryl Lawrie on Several have hit me right between the eyes, but with my theme, I thought I needed to quote this one:

1. she escaped to the wilderness for silence: stillness, tranquility, noiselessness, peace
2. but there the gods kept silence: secretiveness, reticence, taciturnity, uncommunicativeness.
3. she was reduced to silence: speechlessness, wordlessness, dumbness, muteness.

Realizing with dismay that this year it feels easier to plan the easter egg hunt than to be present in Lent for this one day. Makes me feel like I am a stranger to myself.
Scratchy throat is annoying,even when i'm silent.

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